I found James Clear’s point that most of us cannot change our mindsets because we associate it with outcomes and not identities, pretty significant. For instance, when two people trying to quit smoking get offered a cigarette, one says, “No thanks. I’m trying to quit,” while the other says, “No thanks. I’m not a smoker.” The latter is often more successful.

A lot of this shame and self-hatred stems from people’s identities in that when we encounter setbacks, we start berating ourselves with “I’m a loser,” or “I can never figure this out.” This becomes so integral with our identity that it throws us into a bottomless downward spiral.

We should reinforce a positive self-image each time we experience a modicum of success or even survive a situation that seemed it would never end.

What are your thoughts on this, Kris?